Cha Cha Cha Changes......

I know I am naturally resistant to change. I remember as a child my Mom telling me that, "just because you don't like change isn't going to stop it from happening." So, I plan. If I know change is going to happen I will carefully research all of the options and proceed with caution. I have to prepare myself mentally, cover all my bases and when I feel I can anticipate the outcome, then I can embrace whatever is going to happen. Childbirth was certainly was of those major life changes that I planned for. Recently a friend and I were comparing the school year to childbirth. There is anticipation and preparation before the students get there. The hard work, stress and pressure of the school year could be compared to drawn out labor pains. Summer the final relief of the labor. Top that off with Graduation seeing our students go off into the world to make their way. The school year, spanning from fall of one calendar year to the summer of the next, is a mental and emotional roller coaster. The school year has come to a close. Summer school has finally ended. As much as I need this break, I have not been able to unwind, shift gears, adapt to the change. I have been frantically making to-do lists, telling myself that summer is fleeting and is never long enough to get things done. I know that in a week or so I will adjust and be able to unwind. In the meantime I feel like the most ridiculous person ever. What teacher can't immediately enjoy summer vacation? How do you adjust to change?

Take care,
Mrs.PJ

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Reasons I am kicking myself.

3. I signed up to teach summer school and now I totally wish I hadn't.

sensible me: It's an extra three grand, great way to make up money I lost on my maternity leave.
not so sensible me: Yeah, but that was last year. I'm ready for a break now.
sensible: It will be easy. It's initial credit, so the kids will all be nerds.
not: But summer won't start until July now.
sensible: It's just a few weeks, besides, there will still be the whole month of July and most people don't even get a month of vacation.
not: Why? Whyyyyyy? I want my summer!

2. I forgot the diaper bag.

My daughter had her nine month checkup today. So I had to speed pump milk, quickly resolve an issue in the parking lot (lady bumped into my car just before I pulled out but only damaged her car, so we parted ways), speed home as safe as possible (30 min drive), put pumped milk in fridge, feed dog, speed to day care, grab baby, go to pediatrician (25 min drive), go to get out of car and realize I don't have any clean diapers or wipes. We cloth diaper and the only thing I have with me is the bag of dirty diapers sent home from the daycare.
 I felt like everyone in the waiting room was staring at me like I just kidnapped this baby because I had no bag or other baby accessories. I was sure they were going to call child protective services because my baby was in a wet diaper when she had her exam. Then the nurse says, "Oh that's nothing, my sister left her baby in a restaurant when they left once." So I guess by comparison it wasn't that bad, but I still felt negligent.
Little Miss PJ handled the whole ordeal with a smile and didn't even cry when she got her vaccine.

1. I missed the boat.

If you have been reading R&R for awhile now you know I love my job teaching, but I wish my school was closer so I wouldn't have to spend such a huge chunk of my day on the road. Last week I saw that the school district I live in had an open position. I hesitated to fill out the application because it was already 11:30 at night and the application is loooooong. I left right after school let out on Friday rushed home to fill it out before I went to pick up the kids and, drumroll please, it was gone. I guess they filled the spot that fast. Maybe it was posted for a while before I saw it. I e-mailed the principal to let them know I'm interested in case anything opens up, but I still feel like I let my family down. Totally kicking myself.

What was I thinking? Anyone else out there wondering where there mind is?

Take care,
Mrs.PJ 

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